At St John Henry’s, Confessions are heard every day:
Sunday 1.50-2.20 pm (2.50-3.20 pm on the third Sunday of the month)
Monday-Thursday 9-9.15 am | Friday 9.30-9.45 am | Saturday 9-9.15 am & 10.30-11.20 am
A copy of the parish’s Penance Book, for the use of penitents, can be accessed here.
Sunday 1.50-2.20 pm (2.50-3.20 pm on the third Sunday of the month)
Monday-Thursday 9-9.15 am | Friday 9.30-9.45 am | Saturday 9-9.15 am & 10.30-11.20 am
A copy of the parish’s Penance Book, for the use of penitents, can be accessed here.
Confession
RECONCILIATION BETWEEN GOD AND MAN was accomplished by Our Lord Jesus Christ in the Paschal Mystery of his Death and Resurrection. The Lord entrusted the ministry of reconciliation to the Church through the Apostles. Because of human weakness, Christians break their relationship with God by serious sin. The Lord, therefore, instituted the Sacrament of Penance during his life on earth for the pardon of sins committed after Baptism, whether mortal or venial sins. So also lesser sins, although they do not break off relationship with God, are also forgiven in this sacrament as a fruitful way to advance in God’s love. The Church has faithfully celebrated the sacrament throughout the centuries - in varying ways, but retaining its essential elements.
St Ambrose reminds us that the Church ‘possesses both water and tears; the waters of Baptism, the tears of Penance’, but it is God who forgives sins, through the ministers of this sacrament, and through Confession we are reconciled to God and to the Church. When we confess our sins to a priest, it is really to God that we are confessing. Nothing the priest hears in Confession can ever be repeated or acted upon. |
This is the ‘seal’ of the confessional. There are absolutely no exceptions to this rule, ever. There are four elements to the sacrament:
- Contrition (being sorry) for our sins and resolving to try not to sin again.
- Individual confession of our sins to a priest.
- Receiving God’s merciful forgiveness.
- Doing the penance which the priest imposes.
We should feel sorrow because our sins offend God. They pull us back on the path to heaven. They also weaken the Church. Sin makes us weak and irresponsible links in the chain of faith and witness. Sin makes us ‘passengers’ in the Church. Our forgiveness depends on our being truly sorry, and having a firm purpose of amendment. The penance we are given is a token offering. Only Christ’s own merits can truly make up for the damage caused by sin. We are obliged always to confess all mortal sins. It is also recommended to confess venial sins. This helps us grow in holiness and virtue. It gives us an increase of grace and strength for the Christian battle, the spiritual warfare.
How often? The rule is at least once a year. Most of us should go never less than once a month, and when we have to. If the sin is mortal, go to confession immediately. Do not risk your immortal soul by putting off the work of forgiveness and reconciliation.
How often? The rule is at least once a year. Most of us should go never less than once a month, and when we have to. If the sin is mortal, go to confession immediately. Do not risk your immortal soul by putting off the work of forgiveness and reconciliation.
Repentance and Preparation
The most precious result of the forgiveness obtained in the Sacrament of Penance is to be found in the reconciliation with God which takes place in the inmost heart of a son who was lost and is found again. To be forgiven, you must believe and repent. First, you must believe - that is, to know and accept as a truth to be acted upon - that by God’s grace it is possible to repent, that forgiveness is necessary, and that God is able and willing to forgive you when you do repent. Secondly, you must repent. No one can repent perfectly, but God asks you to do the best you can.
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Repentance begins with being truly sorry - not sorry because your sins have got you into trouble or spoilt your good opinion of yourself (though that may be your starting point) but sorry for the wrong you have done to God and to others. True sorrow is not a matter of feeling. You may indeed feel very sorry, and that is good: but it is not what you feel that counts, but what you decide to do. Going to Confession is one way of showing your sorrow, and of making it more sincere, but confessing without being sorry would not bring you the forgiveness God promises. It will help you to be truly sorry if you remember how much suffering sin causes in the world, how it spoils human character and, above all, what it means to God. - how it grieves his heart of love and offends his divine majesty, and how his Son came to earth and suffered and died because of it.
The second part of repentance is opening up. You cannot, of course, confess all your sins. For one thing, you will not remember them all: for another, sin dulls the conscience, so that you may not realise a thing is wrong, even though in God’s sight it is one of your worst sins. But you can do your best, and that is what God asks you to do for love of him. So pray for his help, and ask that the Holy Spirit may shed his light in the dark places of your mind, to show you the sins which you might otherwise overlook. There is no need to be anxious. God will show you as much as is good for you. It will not matter how much you genuinely forget, so long as you do your best to remember. So long as you do not keep anything back deliberately, all will be forgiven through the ministry of his priest. So, make your list humbly, sincerely, plainly, fully.
Humbly. You come to accuse yourself: do not excuse yourself. It is a waste of breath to try to balance your sins by reciting some of your good points. Say what you have done wrong, with shame if it is shameful, but not with false shame. There is, unfortunately, nothing unusual about sin: do not try to suggest that in your case it is highly exceptional. If you have something specially wicked to own up to, do not say, ‘I am afraid I did slip into this, but I cannot think why; I’m not that sort of person really’. That kind of remark comes from wounded pride. You are the person who did that thing. Face the unpleasant truth squarely, and let it humble you.
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Sincerely. It must be your intention to declare your sins honestly, so as to show the priest exactly what you have done. There are ways of telling the literal truth and yet hiding the real facts, so that people think we mean something else. Take trouble to use words which will mean to the priest exactly what you ought to let him know.
Plainly. Be quite blunt. Don’t say, ‘I haven’t always been honest in financial matters’, if you mean you have stolen money. Don’t say, ‘I haven’t always honoured my wife’ if you mean you have struck her, ignored her, or committed adultery.
Fully. This means not only telling all your sins, but also telling anything that makes them worse. It’s not enough to say, ‘I have stolen’. You must say what you have stolen, and how often: and if you stole from someone who befriended you, or from a poor person who greatly missed what you took, or from a church offering box, or if there is anything else which makes your sin more wicked, you must say so. But don’t be too fussy. You need not detail every sin separately; and if you cannot remember exactly how often a thing happened, you can say ‘occasionally’ or ‘frequently’.
Plainly. Be quite blunt. Don’t say, ‘I haven’t always been honest in financial matters’, if you mean you have stolen money. Don’t say, ‘I haven’t always honoured my wife’ if you mean you have struck her, ignored her, or committed adultery.
Fully. This means not only telling all your sins, but also telling anything that makes them worse. It’s not enough to say, ‘I have stolen’. You must say what you have stolen, and how often: and if you stole from someone who befriended you, or from a poor person who greatly missed what you took, or from a church offering box, or if there is anything else which makes your sin more wicked, you must say so. But don’t be too fussy. You need not detail every sin separately; and if you cannot remember exactly how often a thing happened, you can say ‘occasionally’ or ‘frequently’.
Examination of Conscience
You are not bound to making a written list of your sins prior to making your confession, but few of us nowadays could make anything like a complete confession if we did not. Most of us make written notes in domestic or business affairs, and we should approach this sacrament with the same earnestness as we do anything else important. The following list, though by no means exhaustive, is intended to assist you in examining your conscience prior to making your confession.
For any penitent:
Have I ignored God or excluded Him from my life? Have I neglected my daily prayers or said them badly? Is my daily prayer a real conversation with God in mind and heart? Have I used the name of God, or of Our Lady, in anger or carelessly? Did I miss Holy Mass on a Sunday or Holy Day of Obligation through my own fault? Did I receive Holy Communion in a state of mortal sin? Do I observe the one hour fast before receiving Holy Communion? Do I abstain from meat or perform some other act of penance on Fridays? |
For spouses:
Do I pray for my husband or wife?
Am I critical of my spouse, putting them down in public or in private? What efforts have I made to demonstrate and foster the warmth of my love and affection for my spouse?
Do I try to make up whenever there has been a disagreement or do I allow things to fester beneath the surface? Am I too proud to say ‘Sorry’?
Do I mistreat my spouse verbally, emotionally or physically? Have we used artificial means of birth control in order to prevent having children?
For parents:
Have I neglected to teach my children their prayers and give them a Christian education?
Have I set my children a bad example by not bringing them to Holy Mass, or being careless about my religious duties?
Do I take care to ensure that my children do not witness arguments at home? Do I watch over the books they read and the television and videos they watch? Do I take care to ‘befriend’ my children? Am I over strict or over lax with them? Do I explain decisions to them and so help them grow to maturity?
For children:
Have I been disobedient or rude to my parents or teachers? Do I treat my parents with affection and respect? Do I pray for them?
If I live away from home, do I write to my parents and other members of my family in order to keep in touch?
Do I quarrel with my brothers or sisters or other members of my family? Do I study hard at school or college? Am I grateful for the sacrifices my parents have made for me? Do I show my gratitude?
For any penitent:
Am I careful to set my friends a good example, especially in matters of behaviour, attendance at Holy Mass and moral issues? Do I realise that my support might help them live up to their Christian calling?
Have I been impatient, angry or jealous?
Have I taken part in, or encouraged, an abortion or any other means of taking human life?
Did I get drunk, use drugs, or give bad example to others?
Have I placed myself in danger of sin by reading or looking at what was indecent or pornographic?
Have I sinned against the virtue of purity by myself or with others?
Have I been dishonest by stealing or cheating?
Have I been lazy at my work or at home?
Have I been uncharitable or unkind in thought, word, or deed?
Have I told lies? Do I judge others rashly?
Prayer after Self-Examination
O my God, how great are my sins! Would that I had never offended thee. If by carelessness or ignorance I have forgotten anything in my self-examination, show it to me now that I make a good confession; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
-St Gregory Prayer Book
Do I pray for my husband or wife?
Am I critical of my spouse, putting them down in public or in private? What efforts have I made to demonstrate and foster the warmth of my love and affection for my spouse?
Do I try to make up whenever there has been a disagreement or do I allow things to fester beneath the surface? Am I too proud to say ‘Sorry’?
Do I mistreat my spouse verbally, emotionally or physically? Have we used artificial means of birth control in order to prevent having children?
For parents:
Have I neglected to teach my children their prayers and give them a Christian education?
Have I set my children a bad example by not bringing them to Holy Mass, or being careless about my religious duties?
Do I take care to ensure that my children do not witness arguments at home? Do I watch over the books they read and the television and videos they watch? Do I take care to ‘befriend’ my children? Am I over strict or over lax with them? Do I explain decisions to them and so help them grow to maturity?
For children:
Have I been disobedient or rude to my parents or teachers? Do I treat my parents with affection and respect? Do I pray for them?
If I live away from home, do I write to my parents and other members of my family in order to keep in touch?
Do I quarrel with my brothers or sisters or other members of my family? Do I study hard at school or college? Am I grateful for the sacrifices my parents have made for me? Do I show my gratitude?
For any penitent:
Am I careful to set my friends a good example, especially in matters of behaviour, attendance at Holy Mass and moral issues? Do I realise that my support might help them live up to their Christian calling?
Have I been impatient, angry or jealous?
Have I taken part in, or encouraged, an abortion or any other means of taking human life?
Did I get drunk, use drugs, or give bad example to others?
Have I placed myself in danger of sin by reading or looking at what was indecent or pornographic?
Have I sinned against the virtue of purity by myself or with others?
Have I been dishonest by stealing or cheating?
Have I been lazy at my work or at home?
Have I been uncharitable or unkind in thought, word, or deed?
Have I told lies? Do I judge others rashly?
Prayer after Self-Examination
O my God, how great are my sins! Would that I had never offended thee. If by carelessness or ignorance I have forgotten anything in my self-examination, show it to me now that I make a good confession; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
-St Gregory Prayer Book
Penance and RestitutionFollowing the confession of our sins, after the priest has imparted his ghostly counsel and assigned a penance, we must make up for what we have done.
As far as God is concerned, we cannot make up for the past. By making our confession, and doing our little penance, we try to show that we would make up if we could: but we know that we cannot. Only God himself can make up for the injustices we have done him: and he has done that, in a way that we can only dimly comprehend, through his Son, who came to earth and ‘died that we might be forgiven’, paying ‘the price of sin’ because ‘there was no other good enough’ to pay it. This is the central mystery of our redemption, which no man can fully understand. Our part is, as the hymn goes on to say, ‘to trust in his redeeming Blood’ (that is, to leave it to him to deal with the past we have repented of, without being anxious any more about it) and to ‘try his works to do’ (that is, to do what he tells us to do in the future). So we ‘make up’ to God by trusting him to forgive us, and by trying harder to please him. |
Where, however, we have done wrong to our fellow men we must do our best to make up for it. If someone still suffers because of our sins, we must repay them if possible. This is called ‘restitution’, it is a matter of common justice. In some cases there is no difficulty in knowing what to do. Stolen property must obviously be returned; if by telling lies you have damaged another’s reputation, you must restore public confidence in him by telling the truth; and so on. In other cases, however, it is not so easy, and you may need advice: unwise forms of restitution can do harm. If the priest does not mention restitution, it is not because it does not matter, but because he takes it for granted that this is what you will do.